Writing as a blood sport

After the excitement of finally getting my blog setup and posting my introductory entries, I turned my attention back to the other tasks that I'd put aside. 

Still, in the back of my mind I wondered what exactly my posts here would start to look like. I knew that I'd have a tendency to write pieces similar to what I already do in my articles, newsletters, and Facebook page. But I started this blog to create a new type of venue for myself. I wanted to explore NEW things! So what was that going to look like?

One topic that came up for me often: The journey of being a writer. My writing takes up so much of my time and attention, and has been such a fun learning process over the years. Still, I really don't get much of a chance to write about my experience of it. OK, so that seems like a good topic to explore here.

It all started when I was a child, writing poems and journalling. I've long said that my writing then literally saved my life, and I realize now that it's because it was a place that I could be my true self and know my true feelings, unmediated by other people's needs and realities. 

Of course, with most of my writing now, my audience's needs are an important focus, and I truly love to serve in that way. Nevertheless, I like to also stay connected to my own interests and passions, in all of my work, to keep it fun for everyone. And I see this blog as a chance to play with my own personal voice a little more!

One of my allies asked me if I have a literature degree of some kind. Nope! I had a double major in computer science and theatre arts, which I see as an early reflection of my love for both the creative and the logical sides of being human. And of course I've studied writing and have read a lot. But I don't have a literature degree.

So most of my writing skills, above my schools' standard fare, have been self-taught, through books and magazines, and in the school of hard knocks, using trial and error to find what works for me. But I actually think that most writers learn most of our skills that way. 

Which is how I came up with this blog post's title: Writing as a blood sport. Hah! How different that phrase is from the usual image of writers as solitary librarians living in quiet cottages, contemplating the universe and calmly commenting on today's passing fads.

But, ah, the internal reality, or at least mine, is so much messier than that. With each new piece, I dive into the scrimmage fray of a new field or topic, elbow deep in the details I don't know, seeing eternal possibilities of angle and word choice, thrashing with options and opinions, squinting through the fog to see what shapes might be true and interesting, hoping to find insights to guide my path to a successful tale.... And, no matter how much I develop my writing skills, there are some aspects to the creative process that are just simply by their nature disorderly and uncontrollable. Writing, I've come to see, is only somewhat science, but largely art. 

Still, the joy that can come from this is so thrilling for me, when the fog starts to settle down, shapes form in the chasm, and my way become clear. And when something cogent and enjoyable, unique and meaningful, comes out the other side of this process, well it's like a miracle! How did that happen? I'm not exactly sure; I'm just glad it did!

Nevertheless, to get there, we must overcome moments of total abject uncertainty, feelings that most folks in technical jobs rarely need to face about their core skill set. 

I used to think it was just something lacking in me, but I've heard the same threads often enough from other writers that I now see it as just part of this path. Well, at least when we our writing isn't done in a rote way, but we're trying to say something interesting and new.

That's what I'm seeking to do with this blog (and a new book in the works), to step out a little bit more with what I really want to say, deep inside me. And it's causing me to reflect on my journey to get to here, the over 25 years (eeps!) that I've sought to be a professional writer out in the world. I'm thrilled at the aspects of the writing process that are more manageable now, where I understand better how to pull some of the levers with some self-assurance. 

Still, with each new project I take on, I feel the rush of the unknown, the thrilling wind in my face. I actually think it's part of why it's fun, with each article a new adventure in a mysterious unknown world, a new chance to run the ball to the goal line....

So what's your experience of being a writer? Does this resonate? I invite you to share what you think about what I've explored here. And stay tuned for more of my musings on the writer's journey.

Blog content (c) Copyright Patricia Dines, 2011. All rights reserved. Links are encouraged! My content is also available for reprint, but please contact me for permission first. Thanks!

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